Tooth Abuse

Every parent dreads a call from daycare saying that their child is hurt. Well I got my first call of that type last Thursday. "Please come get Jessie, she was going down the slide and banged her tooth." Oh no not again!... Yes you heard me correctly... AGAIN!!

This summer, Jessie was running around the patio table and tripped and did a header into a lawn chair. She went mouth first. When she stood up, her mouth was full of blood... Oh God!! Don't let her see the blood. Jessie gets hysterical at the sight of blood. Well of course, she saw it and screamed even louder. I am sure the neighbours must have wondered what was going on. Finally after a lot of consoling and dabbing until the bleeding stopped in her mouth, she calmed down and her teeth seemed to be okay.

A few days later, we were laying in bed, reading a story and I got a view of her tooth from a different angle and noticed that it was sticking forward more than the others. So the next day we were off to the dentist. He checked everything out, took x-rays and finally told us that everything appeared to be okay, including her adult teeth growing in above in her gums. So life went on...

Then I got the call, last Thursday... "Jessie fell going down the slide and her tooth is loose." So I rushed over to pick her up. When I got there, Jessie was in the daycare lady's arms crying. Of course, when she saw me, she started crying harder and screaming. I picked her up and eventually calmed her down. And then we were off to the dentist once again...

The dentist checked her out... Yes the tooth was loose but it should firm up just like last time. We just have to be careful for the next few days when she bites into food. He proceeded to warn us about repeated trauma to her tooth and reminded us that she needs to keep that tooth for another two years. Yes Yes... we know...

Well, it's been a few days now and the tooth seems to have firmed up again. Phewww!! But let me tell you the bright side of the story....

Her tooth is straight again.

Memories of Pizza and a Fire

Do you ever find it ironic the memories we retain from when we were a kid? I look back at photos and barely remember the memories in them. However, I remember pizza and a fire...

When I was a kid, my family went to "camp" every weekend. Now for those of you that are now confused, "camp" to us Northerners is what you would call "the cottage". My parents camp, now home, is on Manitoulin Island. So every Friday, we would pack up the mini van and hit the road for "the island".

On the road my parents took us out to dinner at a different restaurant along the way. This particular Friday, we decided upon Cortinos Pizza in Espanola. We did our usual while waiting for our pizza, enjoying our family chit chat and playing hangman on the napkins.

Finally, we spotted our waitress walking towards us, it was like a vision, a dream, an angel floating our way with our pizza on a platter with a pedestal. Okay, we were a little hungry... She smiled and sat our pizza down on the table. Yes... pizza!!

Oh uh!! Just as the waitress was about to turn and leave us, the napkin under the pizza caught fire from the candle sitting under the pedestal pizza platter. The waitress suddenly lost her smile and found her panic. Her hands flew to her face with a loud gasp of breath. She froze and had no apparent clue as to what to do. My dad, as cool as a cucumber, just like he is in any panic situation, reached over grabbed my glass of water and threw it at the fire.

Out within seconds... Dad to the rescue!! As soon as the waitress was out of earshot, we all had a good laugh. The poor waitress must have felt a little foolish.

Wow... a silly memory but a good one...

Who Spends More Time With Your Kids?

Do you ever analyze your schedule and how you spend your time? Well lately I have really been thinking about that. Here is a schedule of my typical work day:

• 5:15 am - Alarm Goes Off, Snooze
• 5:22am – Alarm Goes Off, Snooze
• 5:29am – Alarm Goes Off, Snooze
• 5:36am - Alarm Goes Off, Ok ok, I get up
• 6:00am – Showered, dressed, get kids up
• 7:00am – Kids up, dressed, fed and out the door
• 7:15am – Drop kids off at daycare
• 7:38am – Catch Go Train Downtown
• 8:50am – Arrive at office

…

• 4:30pm – Catch Go Train Home
• 5:30pm – Pick up kids at daycare
• 6:00pm – Dinner
• 8:00 pm – Put Kids to Bed

Wow!! Looking at it like that, I see my kids a total of 3 and half hours and that includes feeding them, dressing them and bathing them. Not to mention if it is a Tae Kwon Do night, swimming or gymnastics night, that time is cut even shorter. Daycare – they get about 10 hours a day with my kids… It’s a wonder that they even know me.

So is working worth it? Yes, I need to pay my bills. So what do I do about the guilt? Especially on the nights when the kids are not behaving and the whole time is spent fighting with them. I am just mom with the rules, daycare is the fun place with crafts, toys and friends to play with. I just keep thinking how fast they have grown already and I am missing out on so much.

So I try and break it down and see how I can make it somewhat better. I can’t keep the kids up later… that leads to grumpy kids in the morning. Maybe it’s my commute. Well that must be what triggered this. I started working downtown again and my Go Train ride sure adds on a lot of time away. Sure, the ride can be relaxing if you have a good book. The book I have been trying to read for almost a year now. But reading a book does not compare to bonding with my kids.

When I was a kid, I remember my Mom working late sometimes, bringing work home but as I got older I grew to understand and even be able to help her with her “homework”. My dad worked shift work so we missed him the morning but he was home by 3pm. Nice gig!! My husband now has it that way, except when he is on afternoon shift then he sees the kids about an hour in the morning and that’s it. What has the world come to? Do we live to work or work to live?

Maybe I need to find some kind of career that allows me to work closer to home or even occasionally work from home. I still need people contact but maybe I need a better mix. What about other working Moms? How do you deal with the guilt or compromise the career versus being a mom? Please leave your suggestions and comments.

Happy Days Are NOT Here to Stay

I still remember a year ago, anticipating being off for a year, looking forward to not being pregnant and to having another beautiful daughter in our lives. Well all of that came and was all that was to be expected with a few extra surprises both good and not so good. However, it is amazing how fast the year has gone. I wasn't really worried about the whole returning to work until a few weeks ago, I chose to attend a company family picnic.

For anyone on maternity leave that is not looking forward to returning to work, STAY AWAY FROM WORK FUNCTIONS. I was out of touch when it came to conversation. Everyone was rambling on about work and I of course had no clue what they were talking about. There was more conversation about lay-offs. So I guess I should be grateful that I have a job. However, the statement that drove it all home was... "OMG Karen!! We are so busy on our project. I am consistently working 12-13 hour days."

Ugghhhh!! It all came back to me. Getting up early, dropping my daughter off at daycare early enough so I could catch a train. Reminders of living by a train schedule. Spending all day playing nice with clients. Don't get me wrong. I typically get along with clients. But others don't and I usually have to bridge the gaps. Then the rush out of work to get back to town by 6pm to pick up my daughter. Sure... you think 6pm... that's nothing. I thought you said 12-13 hour days... Well I am not done yet....

Home at last... time to relax... NO WAY!!! Now we need to get dinner ready, bath my daughter, read her a story and get her to bed by 8pm (if I am lucky). Sure my husband is very helpful when he is on day shift, but if he is nights, it's all about me. Bedtime.... ahhhh!! time to relax.... zzzz.....

Brrrrinnnnggggg!! Curse that cell phone! "Hello!! Karen speaking... what you want a conference call now at 9pm... for how long.... and then don't forget my presentation tomorrow!! How could I, I still have to finish reviewing it?" Yes that was what life was like and hearing the 12-13 hour complaint brought it all back. And just think I get to do it all again only this time, I have 2 kids both at different daycares. Good times!!

Well it is now September 11 and I now have only 19 days left to relax... oh yeah and start reaching out to work colleagues in search of a project. What do I have to look forward to??? A paycheck again. That I am excited about... talking to adults again... maybe that too... But I will miss seeing my kids everyday during the day... The sad part too is that I will never have this year again with them because my husband and I have decided that 2 kids is enough for us. That decision I do not regret. Kids are expensive and in case I have never mentioned it before... I HATE BEING PREGNANT!! Love motherhood just hate the part before. Kudos to those that like it. They are better moms than me.

Little Moments from Florida

Wow!! I miss the ocean and the sun and the heat and the sand and the shopping... Okay but I am also glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed again. We just came back a 16 day trip in Florida. The kids were awesome, considering they had to spend the first 2 days and the last 3 days in the truck for the very long drive to and from Florida.

We had a wonderful time swimming in the ocean and pool, making sand castles, long walks on the beach and some occasional shopping. Our youngest daughter is only 7 and 1/2 months old so she won't remember much of the trip but we will definitely remember that this was the time she learned to sit up, clap her hands and had some really grumpy moments because of her teeth.

Our oldest daughter is 4 years old and might not remember much either but she was adorable on a few occasions as she experienced a whole lot of new things. I have 3 little moments that I don't ever want to forget because they were so cute and funny.

(1) There's a Fishy!! You can't stay for a week on the beach and not go swimming in the ocean. We decided to take our daughter. The waves breaking on the beach freaked her out so I picked her up and carried her out passed the breaking waves. It was still shallow but the waves coming in made it an adventure. I held her in my arms and lowered her in the water and we rode up and down with the waves. All the while, my daughter kept saying... Let's go home mommy." Just as I managed to calm her, a piece of seaweed floated passed and she screamed. "There's a fishy!!" I started laughing, I picked up the seaweed and told her it was just like grass. She seemed to have calmed down once again. I pointed out the buoys and fibbed that the fish stayed out passed them. Then I carried her into shore and sure enough a small fish swam passed my foot. Thankfully she didn't notice.

(2) THLORIDA We realized half way through the trip that our daughter thought that Florida was the condo we were staying in and not the state. And she pronounced it "Thlorida". Everytime, we went out and she wanted to go back to the condo, she would say "Let's go back to THlorida". I think by the end of the trip we managed to explain it somewhat because in the truck she started saying "This is all Thlorida, right Mommy?"

(3) Ariel's Grotto We decided that at 4 years old she might get a kick out of Magic Kingdom, especially considering her room at home is painted all purple and is decorated with all the Disney princesses. We dragged her all around the park for over 6 hours even through the rain for part of the day. The last attraction we went to was Ariel's Grotto. My husband kept muttering under his breath the whole wait about having to wait to see someone dressed up like a mermaid. I persevered and we waited for over an hour. When we finally got in to see Ariel, we were the last of our small group. Our daughter started off shy and walked over to Ariel and sat beside her. Well I don't know what Ariel said to her but our daughter started talking non-stop. She proceeded to tell Ariel all about her seashells that she had collected from the beach, how she washed them and put the in a bowl to play with. This went on for a couple of minutes and Ariel's reply just made her day. "Wow!! You sound like me, we could be sisters." Our daughter had the biggest smile. The photographer took her picture and then Ariel gave her a big hug and said "Bye my little starfish!" Both my husband and I were teary-eyed watching the scene take place. All the agony of waiting in line was all worth it. If you ask my husband now... his only regret is that he didn't get HIS picture taken with Ariel. WHAT A BRAT!! But that's why I love him.

Thoughts on Marriage When You are 4

As a parent you worry about how soon your daughter(s) will start to think about boys, the birds and the bees and even marriage. Well my heart raced a little the other day when my 4 year old and I were watching 90210 and she asked... "Mommy why does she have a baby in her tummy?" Here is our conversation:

• 4 YEAR OLD: "Mommy why does she have a baby in her tummy?"
• MOM: "She is going to be a mommy. She is married". I fibbed about the last part.
• 4 YEAR OLD: "I am going to have a baby someday."
• MOM: "Oh really. Well you have to be a big girl and be married. Do you like boys?"
• 4 YEAR OLD: "Yes"
• MOM (thinking to herself): YIKES!!
  
• 4 YEAR OLD: "I'm going to marry HIPPO."
• MOM (still thinking to herself): Oh thank god for Hippo. Her 3 foot long orange with yellow spots stuffed Hippopotamus!
  

Okay so Mom and Dad can put off that mandatory conversation a little while longer. LOL!

Abusing Our Rights As Women

We all know the history of women and how they had to fight for the rights we have today. At one time, women could not vote, could not hold a job, essentially were meant to be seen and not heard. Well I am not going to retell the story of how we have overcome this. But alas, we have. Women are now voting, making major decisions at home and at the office, and women not only have jobs but there are lots of powerful women in the world not only running major corporations but also nations. So as a women I say thank you and do not choose to abuse those rights and try to consider everyone equal.

However, there are many women who take advantage of their rights and push them as far as they can for selfish reasons. I am specifically speaking of women's rights as a Mother. When a couple breaks up, if there are children, the situation is never pretty. History has shown that in the majority of the cases, the mother is granted custody of the children. Courts have always believed and judged that the mother is the more suitable parent for either sole custody or primary custody. This unfortunately makes it difficult to stand by and watch many cases where the Dad is clearly the better parent but is discouraged in his fight. Here is a story of Dad who is getting the raw end of the deal.

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Meet Greg. He is a trusting guy who met a girl, named Patty, and fell in love. Together they produced two beautiful children. Not wanting to give up her party lifestyle, Patty smoked and drank through both pregnancies which led to premature births and other complications. But with God and luck on their side, both babies were strong and pulled through.

A few days after their son was brought home from the hospital, Patty left Greg with both children. She told Greg that she hadn't loved him since their first baby was born. Greg devastated, packed up his kids and their belongings and moved back to his hometown where he could get assistance from his parents.

A few months later, Patty decided that she needed to be a mom (most likely pressured by her own parents) and moved to the same town as Greg. She approached Greg and together they came up with a verbal agreement on shared custody. Months and years went by, these verbal agreements changed many times mostly because Patty could not meet her end of the deal and kept changing the rules. She also engaged her parents to pressure Greg into giving up his kids many times to Patty. Of course when Patty needed a baby sitter because there was a party to go to, Greg was the first person she called.

Fed up with his situation, Greg approached a lawyer for some advice, who in turn gave him the statistics of mothers versus fathers and how the fathers typically lose. This was mostly because Greg had a full-time job. How was he supposed to look after his kids if he was working. Whereas Patty was living on welfare and she knew that this made her look like the better "full-time" parent. In fact, she tormented Greg about it.

Today, Greg continues to send child support payments to Patty for both kids. They now have a verbal agreement to share the kids. Greg gets them on his days off and Patty on the days when Greg works. Patty on the other hand... APPARENTLY (witnesses have said) goes to the bar even on days when she has the kids. The kids tag along. She has a new boyfriend who has a daughter of his own who takes priority. Patty makes frequent calls to Greg and tells him how their children now call her new boyfriend Dad. This breaks Greg's heart. She continues to torment him but when the kids both need to go to the doctor or had to have surgery, Greg is always the one who takes responsibility.
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Why is that some women are nasty enough to learn the law and the rights that they have as women and choose to lie so they can get what they want. Patty knows that if she stays on welfare, she looks like the better parent as the full-time, stay-at-home mom.

I have even heard of another story, where a women isolated her husband from his family and friends. When she grew tired of him, she left him, took the kids and ran to a shelter claiming to be abused. He has never abused her and would never hurt anyone. She is now trying to keep him even from having phone calls with his children. He is devastated and wants only to have the chance to speak with and see his children.

If you know of similar stories of women who abuse our rights, feel free to share or comment.