The Quest For Daycare

Why is the search for daycare so painful? When my eldest was born, I put her name on a waiting list at a few different daycare centers, my preference being that she go to the daycare attached to my church. Of course, that's not the one that called and time was running out before my husband had to go back to work. Yes I split my parental leave with him. I took the first 7 months and he was thrilled to have the next 4 months off of work.

Okay so "beggars can't be choosers" right? I also figured that once my preferred daycare called we could switch her over. In the meantime, we were covered and it was close to the train station so I could get to work. OMG!! From what I hear, our experience at this daycare was pretty typical but it drove me crazy. She came home with cold after cold. I saw other parent's dropping their kids off with bags full of medicine, it was no wonder she caught colds. And then one day, I get a call from the daycare... Your daughter has discharge coming out of her ear and you have to come pick her up. This was about 2:30 pm. Concerned of course, I agreed to come get her and told them I would be there by 4pm. The daycare lady started arguing with me. Our policy states that you have to pick up your child within an hour of us calling you. I tried to explain to her that I worked downtown and I had to wait until the next bus because there are no trains during the day. She kept arguing with me. I told her I would get there as soon as I could. 3:50 pm I walked through the doors of the daycare, having taken the next bus and drove from the train station as fast as I could. The lady then, trying to be nice, says, Oh I thought you said after 4pm. WHATEVER!!

Then I saw my poor daughter. They had quarantined her off in a corner and they were off playing with other kids. My daughter just over a year old at the time. So this experience made me very skeptical about daycares. I understand that they were trying to keep the other kids healthy but what about all those other kids coming with bags full of medicine.

Then our luck changed... My husband spotted a flyer on the mailboxes near our house. A lady with an ECE certificate was opening a daycare in her home... 10 houses away from our house. Sweet! Now I know what you're thinking!!! We don't even know this lady and now we are thinking of leaving our child with her. Well, we had those concerns too but decided to take a chance and gave her a call. She invited us over for an interview where we met her, her husband, her mother-in-law and her daughter who was less than a month older than our daughter. It was the nicest visit we ever had with anyone and she was able to answer all of our questions and concerns.

So we left that night and discussed it thoroughly with each other. We decided to take a chance. 3 years later... it was the best risk we ever took. I can only remember this lady calling us once and it was just to tell us that our daughter had a fever and she was going to give her some Tylenol. WHAT!!! You mean I don't have to rush there and pick her up!! Now their daughter and our daughter are the best of friends. The daycare lady and her husband have become very good friends of ours. In fact both her parents and his mom are our friends as well. I have also since become a reference for her.

Now daughter #2... We actually thought about getting daughter #2 into a regular daycare because we now live in a different town and our favorite daycare lady lives 15 minutes away WITH NO TRAFFIC. We were thinking about trying to find someone local. WHAT WERE WE THINKING!!

Finally, my husband and I decided that we would rather drive in traffic back to our old town and get the same quality of care. We see flyers for home daycare around our town but we are not sure that we would get that lucky twice. So this past week we confirmed both our daughters with this wonderful lady and her family.

Do I Look Pretty Mommy?

Today my daughter got her yearly haircut. This time we decided to go a lot shorter, from hair half-way down her back, to shoulder length and the introduction of bangs! She looks adorable!! And she couldn't stop smiling at her new do while the stylist was blow-drying her hair. All afternoon she kept checking herself out in the mirror, then asking me: "Mommy does my haircut make me look pretty?" I told her that she was pretty before and still is. So this went on all afternoon. I should have known what was to follow... This evening, she had her weekly Taekwondo class. I had already been thinking about increasing her membership to twice a week instead of weekly. My daughter is very shy and is still adjusting to the sport. My husband calls her a "wallflower"; I call her "girly". We chose to put her into Taekwondo because we wanted to increase her self-confidence... essentially we want her to stop whining every time another kid bugs her. Today was probably not the day to get her a new hairdo. I watched her throughout her class this evening, she kept feeling her hair every chance she got, thus distracting herself. Oh well! she might not have been the most focused student in the class this week but she was definitely the cutest with her new haircut. On a good note, she fell 4 times while running in the class and didn't cry once. This is quite the achievement so I was proud.

And the Scary Parent of the Year Award Goes To...

Planning my daughter's birthday party is always a lot of fun. Picking out her theme, buying decorations to match, ordering the cake. This year my daughter wanted Tinkerbell. Sweet!! All the other kids always do Dora or Princesses, this year we get to be different. Oh the party was great!! So what's the problem? The final part of the party is where the kids get to take home the loot bag. A package of surprises and souvenirs of the party.

When I was filling the bags, I put a lot of thought into what the contents should be. I need to purchase something that the kids will think is okay and the parents won't hate me for buying some kind of junky toy. The last party, my daughter received a "My little Pony" and a kid's make-up kit. My daughter thought it was cool. I knew I couldn't top that so I decided to go with sensible. SO I THOUGHT!!!

I filled the loot bags with some cute little stickers, sunglasses, and the sensible part... an age-appropriate book. Great the parents are going to love me!! After the party, it was finally time for bed so I said good night to my daughter and my husband took her up to read a story. She, of course, also received a loot bag, so Dad thought it was a great time to test drive the new book.

Half an hour later, Dad came downstairs with a strange look on his face and the comment... "Dude!! that is not a nice book!!" Apparently, the story they picked to read in the new book was a story about monsters and a dog getting his legs, tail and head cut off. My husband wisely substituted the words "patted the dog's head, leg, tail, etc". The story eventually had a happy ending but not without some gory details.

The book was called "Stories for 4 Year olds", so HOW was I supposed to know? AND... I bought them at a toy store. So I went from sensible parent/party host to creepy mom winning the "Scary Parent of the year award. The good thing is I only bought 3 of those books and an assortment of other books. Since my daughter got one of them, that means only 2 sets of parents out there are now afraid of me. That is assuming of course, that the other assortment of books I distributed out there were a little more friendly. At least the parents will have the memory of the pinata... oh wait that didn't go so well either...

Happy Birthday Girlie Girl!!

Today is my eldest daughter's birthday. She turned 4 at 2:59 am. I will never forget the journey to the day she was born. She was due on February 15th. My parents came down from Northern Ontario on February 1st to help us out. They had booked a trip to Portugal over a year ago and their flight was scheduled for the 17th. Every day we waited and waited but she just wasn't ready to come. The longer I waited the more irritable I got. I just want her out now! Enough of this pregnancy business. I went for my weekly doctor's appointments when finally the doctor said "I think you are going to have a big baby, we should send you for an ultrasound." Having an ultrasound at 39 weeks is brutal. Lying on the table just made me nauseous. I had to get the technician to stop a few times so I could sit up and regain my senses. And then the wait... my next appointment was a week later, the day after my parents were flying out. Figures! My mom was supposed to be a coach along side of my husband. My dad was supposed to look after the dog. February 18th... visit to the doctor... "surprise surprise you are having a big baby. We are going to induce you... How does tomorrow sound?" Sounds great! February 19th...

• 7:30 am... admitted to the hospital;

• 9:00 am... water broke;

• 11:00 am... contractions induced and now another long wait. The amusing part was when the doctor said "There is a 50/50 chance that you may need a C-section" THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING TO PUT ME THROUGH THIS??

The birthing room we were in had a TV, so my husband got to watch all the American Chopper he wanted. The good thing is, I bet he can't remember what choppers were built that day. Goes to show he paid some attention to me. Ha just kidding. This was after I had the epidural and I was in and out of sleep. The nurse and my husband had a great chat about me - they thought I was sleeping but I was more resting and listening to all the nice things being said about me :) February 20th midnight... Finally pushing time.... pushing.... pushing... more pushing... is it really supposed to take this long... I don't know if I can do this... am I strong enough? Finally 2:59 am, "here comes the baby... CALL THE PEDIATRIC UNIT" What's going on? This is the point where they are supposed to say "Congratulations it's a boy... girl..." which is it? Then my husband is supposed to cut the umbilical cord. Wait the nurse is saying something "CANCEL THAT CALL - WE'RE OKAY NOW" Then I hear my husband's voice "Hey we have a daughter! She's beautiful." Oh thank goodness. I am so happy but what happened? Apparently, she wasn't breathing at first and her left arm wasn't moving. She started breathing shortly on her own and by morning her arm was fine when examined by a Pediatrician. She was a whopping 9 lbs. 1 oz. and 19 inches long. I will never forget the day that she was born. Despite the fact that she and I have a minor disagreements as she gets through her terrible 2's, I just think back to that day and realize how lucky I am. Yesterday, I was going through some old photos and videos and saw all the cute moments we captured. One of these moments included her addiction to dancing at the age of 2 especially to Nelly Furtado and Rihanna. I hope as both my daughters grow into beautiful young women, they remain my best friends just like my mom and I. Happy Birthday Girlie Girl!! I love you!!

Homesick For My Family

Last week, I got the sad news that my uncle had passed away. This obviously prompted a trip back home. Any trip back home always generates feelings of homesickness. 11 years ago, I chose to move to Southern Ontario, 6 hours away from my family. This was a great move for my career because there are not a lot of jobs in Northern Ontario. I don't regret this move at all because if I had not moved, I would never have met my husband and hence had 2 beautiful daughters. However, whenever I visit my family, I get sad that I live so far away. This feeling is even stronger when there is a death in the family. I keep thinking if only we lived closer then I wouldn't feel so disconnected from my family. I deal with this by trying not to miss any family events. I even drive the 6 hours alone with the 2 girls. I recently did this for my niece's birthday when my baby was only a month and half old. This of course turned my 6 hour journey into about 9 hours, having to stop frequently. This was worth it knowing that I didn't miss her birthday. My brother was appreciative of me making that trip. This past weekend when we drove north for my Uncle's funeral, we managed to get there in time for the viewing, stay overnight for the funeral BUT we had to leave early to get back home at a decent hour. I am afraid that one day when my parents are gone, I will regret not being home more. What to do... it seems obvious... Look for a job near my family... However, here are the catches:

• My parents spend their winters in a warmer climate so they wouldn't be home for 5 months of the year anyway.

• My husband's parents live close to us now. They wouldn't be very happy if we moved.

• Given the state of the economy now, there is a slim chance that my husband and I would find jobs.

How to deal... My husband and I keep weighing the factors and someday, hopefully, the solution will become clear. In the meantime, we continue to make the long trek to make sure we get to spend as much time with both of our families.

Mat Leave Was Easier the First Time Around

Wow!! I don't remember my first maternity leave being this much work. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am just finally admitting that everyone who warned me was right. Having 2 children is a lot more work. I am now on my maternity leave with 2 daughters. My eldest is 4 years old and my youngest is 4 months old. I remember my first maternity leave consisting of feeding the baby and changing the baby. I remember my daughter sleeping a lot and during that time, I was able to take her shopping, take her visiting and crocheting A LOT. I had enough time to crochet sweaters, stuffed animals and lots of baby clothes. That was with one child...

Two girls... Now everything takes so much longer. Getting ready to go anywhere takes at least 30 minutes to an hour longer. My oldest daughter required some time to adjust to no longer being #1. Whenever I am feeding the baby, she needs to be near if not on my lap at the same time. Now when the baby is sleeping, time is spent with my eldest teaching her to learn her numbers and letters, playing games or doing crafts. What happened to the crocheting and ME time? Well thanks to my husband, I do get time for me in the evening or on his days off.

Now on the bright side, I love my 2 girls. Being 4 years apart, my eldest is a big help. If I need a clean sleeper or a receiving blanket, she is more than happy to run upstairs and get it for me. She wants to help out with everything. This requires some patience on my part. There are just some things a 4-year old can't do. With a learning curve on my part, I have learned to negotiate and provide options to my daughter and that lets her believe that she is in charge and feels like she is still helping me. The best part about having the 2 of them at home gives me a second chance to spend time with my eldest whereas before she was 5 days a week in daycare.

When we chose to have 2 children, one of the first things I thought was: "Great!! Now I can do everything better the second time around!" Sometimes this is true but not always. Having one child does not prepare you for everything. Sometimes, I can't believe how 2 girls can be so different or did I just forget some of the things I learned the first time. For instance, I remember my eldest being a quiet baby and dealing with teething like a champ. Well, my youngest has her one-hour a night, where sometimes nothing makes her happy. Thank goodness that one-hour is at 8pm and not 2am.

Watching all the cute little things that the baby does, makes me sad at how much I have forgotten about when my eldest was a baby. This has prompted me to start blogging and perhaps capture the cute and memorable moments of both of their lives.