Tooth Abuse

Every parent dreads a call from daycare saying that their child is hurt. Well I got my first call of that type last Thursday. "Please come get Jessie, she was going down the slide and banged her tooth." Oh no not again!... Yes you heard me correctly... AGAIN!!

This summer, Jessie was running around the patio table and tripped and did a header into a lawn chair. She went mouth first. When she stood up, her mouth was full of blood... Oh God!! Don't let her see the blood. Jessie gets hysterical at the sight of blood. Well of course, she saw it and screamed even louder. I am sure the neighbours must have wondered what was going on. Finally after a lot of consoling and dabbing until the bleeding stopped in her mouth, she calmed down and her teeth seemed to be okay.

A few days later, we were laying in bed, reading a story and I got a view of her tooth from a different angle and noticed that it was sticking forward more than the others. So the next day we were off to the dentist. He checked everything out, took x-rays and finally told us that everything appeared to be okay, including her adult teeth growing in above in her gums. So life went on...

Then I got the call, last Thursday... "Jessie fell going down the slide and her tooth is loose." So I rushed over to pick her up. When I got there, Jessie was in the daycare lady's arms crying. Of course, when she saw me, she started crying harder and screaming. I picked her up and eventually calmed her down. And then we were off to the dentist once again...

The dentist checked her out... Yes the tooth was loose but it should firm up just like last time. We just have to be careful for the next few days when she bites into food. He proceeded to warn us about repeated trauma to her tooth and reminded us that she needs to keep that tooth for another two years. Yes Yes... we know...

Well, it's been a few days now and the tooth seems to have firmed up again. Phewww!! But let me tell you the bright side of the story....

Her tooth is straight again.

Memories of Pizza and a Fire

Do you ever find it ironic the memories we retain from when we were a kid? I look back at photos and barely remember the memories in them. However, I remember pizza and a fire...

When I was a kid, my family went to "camp" every weekend. Now for those of you that are now confused, "camp" to us Northerners is what you would call "the cottage". My parents camp, now home, is on Manitoulin Island. So every Friday, we would pack up the mini van and hit the road for "the island".

On the road my parents took us out to dinner at a different restaurant along the way. This particular Friday, we decided upon Cortinos Pizza in Espanola. We did our usual while waiting for our pizza, enjoying our family chit chat and playing hangman on the napkins.

Finally, we spotted our waitress walking towards us, it was like a vision, a dream, an angel floating our way with our pizza on a platter with a pedestal. Okay, we were a little hungry... She smiled and sat our pizza down on the table. Yes... pizza!!

Oh uh!! Just as the waitress was about to turn and leave us, the napkin under the pizza caught fire from the candle sitting under the pedestal pizza platter. The waitress suddenly lost her smile and found her panic. Her hands flew to her face with a loud gasp of breath. She froze and had no apparent clue as to what to do. My dad, as cool as a cucumber, just like he is in any panic situation, reached over grabbed my glass of water and threw it at the fire.

Out within seconds... Dad to the rescue!! As soon as the waitress was out of earshot, we all had a good laugh. The poor waitress must have felt a little foolish.

Wow... a silly memory but a good one...

Who Spends More Time With Your Kids?

Do you ever analyze your schedule and how you spend your time? Well lately I have really been thinking about that. Here is a schedule of my typical work day:

• 5:15 am - Alarm Goes Off, Snooze
• 5:22am – Alarm Goes Off, Snooze
• 5:29am – Alarm Goes Off, Snooze
• 5:36am - Alarm Goes Off, Ok ok, I get up
• 6:00am – Showered, dressed, get kids up
• 7:00am – Kids up, dressed, fed and out the door
• 7:15am – Drop kids off at daycare
• 7:38am – Catch Go Train Downtown
• 8:50am – Arrive at office

…

• 4:30pm – Catch Go Train Home
• 5:30pm – Pick up kids at daycare
• 6:00pm – Dinner
• 8:00 pm – Put Kids to Bed

Wow!! Looking at it like that, I see my kids a total of 3 and half hours and that includes feeding them, dressing them and bathing them. Not to mention if it is a Tae Kwon Do night, swimming or gymnastics night, that time is cut even shorter. Daycare – they get about 10 hours a day with my kids… It’s a wonder that they even know me.

So is working worth it? Yes, I need to pay my bills. So what do I do about the guilt? Especially on the nights when the kids are not behaving and the whole time is spent fighting with them. I am just mom with the rules, daycare is the fun place with crafts, toys and friends to play with. I just keep thinking how fast they have grown already and I am missing out on so much.

So I try and break it down and see how I can make it somewhat better. I can’t keep the kids up later… that leads to grumpy kids in the morning. Maybe it’s my commute. Well that must be what triggered this. I started working downtown again and my Go Train ride sure adds on a lot of time away. Sure, the ride can be relaxing if you have a good book. The book I have been trying to read for almost a year now. But reading a book does not compare to bonding with my kids.

When I was a kid, I remember my Mom working late sometimes, bringing work home but as I got older I grew to understand and even be able to help her with her “homework”. My dad worked shift work so we missed him the morning but he was home by 3pm. Nice gig!! My husband now has it that way, except when he is on afternoon shift then he sees the kids about an hour in the morning and that’s it. What has the world come to? Do we live to work or work to live?

Maybe I need to find some kind of career that allows me to work closer to home or even occasionally work from home. I still need people contact but maybe I need a better mix. What about other working Moms? How do you deal with the guilt or compromise the career versus being a mom? Please leave your suggestions and comments.

Happy Days Are NOT Here to Stay

I still remember a year ago, anticipating being off for a year, looking forward to not being pregnant and to having another beautiful daughter in our lives. Well all of that came and was all that was to be expected with a few extra surprises both good and not so good. However, it is amazing how fast the year has gone. I wasn't really worried about the whole returning to work until a few weeks ago, I chose to attend a company family picnic.

For anyone on maternity leave that is not looking forward to returning to work, STAY AWAY FROM WORK FUNCTIONS. I was out of touch when it came to conversation. Everyone was rambling on about work and I of course had no clue what they were talking about. There was more conversation about lay-offs. So I guess I should be grateful that I have a job. However, the statement that drove it all home was... "OMG Karen!! We are so busy on our project. I am consistently working 12-13 hour days."

Ugghhhh!! It all came back to me. Getting up early, dropping my daughter off at daycare early enough so I could catch a train. Reminders of living by a train schedule. Spending all day playing nice with clients. Don't get me wrong. I typically get along with clients. But others don't and I usually have to bridge the gaps. Then the rush out of work to get back to town by 6pm to pick up my daughter. Sure... you think 6pm... that's nothing. I thought you said 12-13 hour days... Well I am not done yet....

Home at last... time to relax... NO WAY!!! Now we need to get dinner ready, bath my daughter, read her a story and get her to bed by 8pm (if I am lucky). Sure my husband is very helpful when he is on day shift, but if he is nights, it's all about me. Bedtime.... ahhhh!! time to relax.... zzzz.....

Brrrrinnnnggggg!! Curse that cell phone! "Hello!! Karen speaking... what you want a conference call now at 9pm... for how long.... and then don't forget my presentation tomorrow!! How could I, I still have to finish reviewing it?" Yes that was what life was like and hearing the 12-13 hour complaint brought it all back. And just think I get to do it all again only this time, I have 2 kids both at different daycares. Good times!!

Well it is now September 11 and I now have only 19 days left to relax... oh yeah and start reaching out to work colleagues in search of a project. What do I have to look forward to??? A paycheck again. That I am excited about... talking to adults again... maybe that too... But I will miss seeing my kids everyday during the day... The sad part too is that I will never have this year again with them because my husband and I have decided that 2 kids is enough for us. That decision I do not regret. Kids are expensive and in case I have never mentioned it before... I HATE BEING PREGNANT!! Love motherhood just hate the part before. Kudos to those that like it. They are better moms than me.

Little Moments from Florida

Wow!! I miss the ocean and the sun and the heat and the sand and the shopping... Okay but I am also glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed again. We just came back a 16 day trip in Florida. The kids were awesome, considering they had to spend the first 2 days and the last 3 days in the truck for the very long drive to and from Florida.

We had a wonderful time swimming in the ocean and pool, making sand castles, long walks on the beach and some occasional shopping. Our youngest daughter is only 7 and 1/2 months old so she won't remember much of the trip but we will definitely remember that this was the time she learned to sit up, clap her hands and had some really grumpy moments because of her teeth.

Our oldest daughter is 4 years old and might not remember much either but she was adorable on a few occasions as she experienced a whole lot of new things. I have 3 little moments that I don't ever want to forget because they were so cute and funny.

(1) There's a Fishy!! You can't stay for a week on the beach and not go swimming in the ocean. We decided to take our daughter. The waves breaking on the beach freaked her out so I picked her up and carried her out passed the breaking waves. It was still shallow but the waves coming in made it an adventure. I held her in my arms and lowered her in the water and we rode up and down with the waves. All the while, my daughter kept saying... Let's go home mommy." Just as I managed to calm her, a piece of seaweed floated passed and she screamed. "There's a fishy!!" I started laughing, I picked up the seaweed and told her it was just like grass. She seemed to have calmed down once again. I pointed out the buoys and fibbed that the fish stayed out passed them. Then I carried her into shore and sure enough a small fish swam passed my foot. Thankfully she didn't notice.

(2) THLORIDA We realized half way through the trip that our daughter thought that Florida was the condo we were staying in and not the state. And she pronounced it "Thlorida". Everytime, we went out and she wanted to go back to the condo, she would say "Let's go back to THlorida". I think by the end of the trip we managed to explain it somewhat because in the truck she started saying "This is all Thlorida, right Mommy?"

(3) Ariel's Grotto We decided that at 4 years old she might get a kick out of Magic Kingdom, especially considering her room at home is painted all purple and is decorated with all the Disney princesses. We dragged her all around the park for over 6 hours even through the rain for part of the day. The last attraction we went to was Ariel's Grotto. My husband kept muttering under his breath the whole wait about having to wait to see someone dressed up like a mermaid. I persevered and we waited for over an hour. When we finally got in to see Ariel, we were the last of our small group. Our daughter started off shy and walked over to Ariel and sat beside her. Well I don't know what Ariel said to her but our daughter started talking non-stop. She proceeded to tell Ariel all about her seashells that she had collected from the beach, how she washed them and put the in a bowl to play with. This went on for a couple of minutes and Ariel's reply just made her day. "Wow!! You sound like me, we could be sisters." Our daughter had the biggest smile. The photographer took her picture and then Ariel gave her a big hug and said "Bye my little starfish!" Both my husband and I were teary-eyed watching the scene take place. All the agony of waiting in line was all worth it. If you ask my husband now... his only regret is that he didn't get HIS picture taken with Ariel. WHAT A BRAT!! But that's why I love him.

Thoughts on Marriage When You are 4

As a parent you worry about how soon your daughter(s) will start to think about boys, the birds and the bees and even marriage. Well my heart raced a little the other day when my 4 year old and I were watching 90210 and she asked... "Mommy why does she have a baby in her tummy?" Here is our conversation:

• 4 YEAR OLD: "Mommy why does she have a baby in her tummy?"
• MOM: "She is going to be a mommy. She is married". I fibbed about the last part.
• 4 YEAR OLD: "I am going to have a baby someday."
• MOM: "Oh really. Well you have to be a big girl and be married. Do you like boys?"
• 4 YEAR OLD: "Yes"
• MOM (thinking to herself): YIKES!!
  
• 4 YEAR OLD: "I'm going to marry HIPPO."
• MOM (still thinking to herself): Oh thank god for Hippo. Her 3 foot long orange with yellow spots stuffed Hippopotamus!
  

Okay so Mom and Dad can put off that mandatory conversation a little while longer. LOL!

Abusing Our Rights As Women

We all know the history of women and how they had to fight for the rights we have today. At one time, women could not vote, could not hold a job, essentially were meant to be seen and not heard. Well I am not going to retell the story of how we have overcome this. But alas, we have. Women are now voting, making major decisions at home and at the office, and women not only have jobs but there are lots of powerful women in the world not only running major corporations but also nations. So as a women I say thank you and do not choose to abuse those rights and try to consider everyone equal.

However, there are many women who take advantage of their rights and push them as far as they can for selfish reasons. I am specifically speaking of women's rights as a Mother. When a couple breaks up, if there are children, the situation is never pretty. History has shown that in the majority of the cases, the mother is granted custody of the children. Courts have always believed and judged that the mother is the more suitable parent for either sole custody or primary custody. This unfortunately makes it difficult to stand by and watch many cases where the Dad is clearly the better parent but is discouraged in his fight. Here is a story of Dad who is getting the raw end of the deal.

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Meet Greg. He is a trusting guy who met a girl, named Patty, and fell in love. Together they produced two beautiful children. Not wanting to give up her party lifestyle, Patty smoked and drank through both pregnancies which led to premature births and other complications. But with God and luck on their side, both babies were strong and pulled through.

A few days after their son was brought home from the hospital, Patty left Greg with both children. She told Greg that she hadn't loved him since their first baby was born. Greg devastated, packed up his kids and their belongings and moved back to his hometown where he could get assistance from his parents.

A few months later, Patty decided that she needed to be a mom (most likely pressured by her own parents) and moved to the same town as Greg. She approached Greg and together they came up with a verbal agreement on shared custody. Months and years went by, these verbal agreements changed many times mostly because Patty could not meet her end of the deal and kept changing the rules. She also engaged her parents to pressure Greg into giving up his kids many times to Patty. Of course when Patty needed a baby sitter because there was a party to go to, Greg was the first person she called.

Fed up with his situation, Greg approached a lawyer for some advice, who in turn gave him the statistics of mothers versus fathers and how the fathers typically lose. This was mostly because Greg had a full-time job. How was he supposed to look after his kids if he was working. Whereas Patty was living on welfare and she knew that this made her look like the better "full-time" parent. In fact, she tormented Greg about it.

Today, Greg continues to send child support payments to Patty for both kids. They now have a verbal agreement to share the kids. Greg gets them on his days off and Patty on the days when Greg works. Patty on the other hand... APPARENTLY (witnesses have said) goes to the bar even on days when she has the kids. The kids tag along. She has a new boyfriend who has a daughter of his own who takes priority. Patty makes frequent calls to Greg and tells him how their children now call her new boyfriend Dad. This breaks Greg's heart. She continues to torment him but when the kids both need to go to the doctor or had to have surgery, Greg is always the one who takes responsibility.
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Why is that some women are nasty enough to learn the law and the rights that they have as women and choose to lie so they can get what they want. Patty knows that if she stays on welfare, she looks like the better parent as the full-time, stay-at-home mom.

I have even heard of another story, where a women isolated her husband from his family and friends. When she grew tired of him, she left him, took the kids and ran to a shelter claiming to be abused. He has never abused her and would never hurt anyone. She is now trying to keep him even from having phone calls with his children. He is devastated and wants only to have the chance to speak with and see his children.

If you know of similar stories of women who abuse our rights, feel free to share or comment.

Lacey The Wonder Pet

You might remember the famous TV dogs that look out for kids... Lassie... Littlest Hobo... Old Yeller... Let me introduce you to our dog Lacey. She is a 6 year old Boxer-Beagle. Before I tell you why she is our daughters' bodyguard, let me tell you how her life almost ended before it began.

In November 2002, there was a farmer who bred Boxers. He prided himself in the boxer puppies that he produced. Well one of his female adult boxers escaped one night bored with her surroundings. She wandered off to a nearby home where she met a dashing Beagle. He romanced her all night long. The lady Boxer at last realized that she needed to return home before she was missed. Life went back to normal at home although the lady Boxer often thought about her one-night stand with the handsome Beagle. Suddenly she realized that her body was starting to change again.

Surprise, Surprise!! January 2003, lady Boxer gave birth to 7 little baby Boxer-Beagles. The owner was outraged! What if word got out? He decided that he needed to "dispose" of these creatures. Well word did get out... and not only of the new litter but also of his plans to destroy the puppies. A group of folks including my sister-in-law set out to find homes for these cute little puppies. She gave us a call and we jumped at the chance and also helped her to find a home for one other puppy. In the end, she and her friends had found homes for all 7 puppies. Well the greedy owner realized the popularity of the puppies and apparently started breeding Boxer-Beagles after that.

Lacey has been the best dog since day one. Oh don't get me wrong! She had her "puppy" moments. Like chewing a pair of glasses, a cell phone and even our love seat. We took her to training and eventually, she became a well-behaved dog. She still has her faults but she is still by-far the best.

Why do we brag about our dog so much? Well 2 years later came baby #1... a beautiful baby girl. Some dogs might have their nose out of joint, but not Lacey. She set made it her task to watch out for the baby. Here are some situations where Lacey was looking out for our daughter:

Situation #1:We put our daughter to bed upstairs. We came downstairs and stepped out onto the back porch. After a few minutes, Lacey came running to the door. My husband thought that she wanted to go out so he grabbed the leash to take her for a walk. But he was mistaken... Lacey ran passed him up the stairs to our daughter's room. There she was... she had fallen out of bed and was crying. We could not believe that Lacey had come to get us.

Situation #2:We were at a family reunion. Lacey was playing with a puppy, jumping, barking and tackling each other. It was cute and playful. Suddenly, their little game started to migrate too close to our daughter. We literally saw Lacey's eyes dart towards our daughter and she steered the puppy in the other direction. Again we were so surprised at her behaviour but so proud.

Situation #3:We were at the leash free puppy park. Lacey was off running with other dogs. Suddenly another dog came running by us and lost her balance and accidentally knocked our daughter over. Lacey saw this and immediately came running over to check her out.

We are so proud of our dog. She is always so good to our daughter even when our daughter pulls her tail, steps on her feet and hugs her way too hard. We always try to ensure that our daughter treats Lacey nicely and she is getting better. Even now with baby #2, Lacey is very good with her as well. She is so gentle around her and occasionally tries to give her a kiss.

Here are some pictures of our beautiful dog:

Lacey as a puppy


Lacey enjoying a boat ride

Lacey (red collar) and her sister (blue collar)

Lacey Being Tormented

Pregnancy and Smoking Don't Mix

I am sure that you have heard all the health warnings about smoking, drinking and drugs during pregnancy. They seem to be everywhere... on cigarette packages... on billboards... on commercials and of course in doctor's offices. So then how come some people still haven't gotten it? Well if you talk to them they will tell you tales of people who have smoked during pregnancy and everything worked out fine. They must be the lucky ones. And the majority of those stories all took place in the 60's, 70's and 80's. Cigarettes are not the same anymore. Here is a story of a little girl who wasn't so lucky. Just to protect her identity... Let's say her name is Dora. I know she likes "Dora the Explorer" so she won't mind.

In September 2003, I got the phone call from her Dad. "I am going to be a Dad." That's wonderful I thought! Well everything after that all happened so fast. The Mom did not even know that she was pregnant for a few months mostly because her cycle had never been normal. My thinking might be biased but I am guessing that smoking didn't help that either. Well, here we go... fast as fast can be, here came Dora... November 2003. Yes her mom knew that she was pregnant a grand total of 2 months. Now that would seem great for all those who hate being pregnant like me but this was not a great beginning for a little girl. Dora was born on week 28. She was a little over 3 lbs. She was not a healthy little baby and being premature she had to spend the next 2 months in the hospital. She had the joy of spending her first Christmas in a prenatal nursery in the hospital. Even her mom had a few complications during the birth that made her stay a few extra days.

January came along and Dora finally got to come home. Mom and Dad were thrilled. For the next little while, everything seemed to be going well. There were the usual doctor's appointments. However, there was one catch... As far as I understand, all babies have a hole in their heart, but it closes up when we are born. However for premature babies, this hole can take up to 2 years after birth to heal. So the Doctor's told Mom and Dad that they would just monitor it until she turned 2 and then discuss options. This "monitoring" involved many trips back and forth from home to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto and they did not live in Toronto. So the next couple of years passed, Dora seemed like a typical little girl... hyper... terrible two's... first words... first smiles... first teeth. All the joys that come with being an infant then toddler. Everyone loved this little girl. She was the first grandchild in her family. There were a few other challenges in her life, for instance right after her baby brother was born, her parents went their separate ways but that's another story.

So age 2 came along... Dad took Dora to the doctor's and he got the news that he didn't want to hear. Her hole was not closing up at all. They would wait a couple of years and then she would have to go to Sick Kids Hospital for a special heart procedure. This procedure involved going through her femoral artery in her groin and inserting a stent up into her heart. This stent would be strategically placed in the hole and over time, pull the hole closed and allow it to heal. Sounds crazy but this was apparently a well known procedure and her chances were great. So for the next couple of years, we put this in the back of our minds.

So age 4 came along, Dad had to schedule her heart procedure with Sick Kids Hospital. Of course, there was a waiting period, but this would not affect the outcome. Dora was scheduled for her procedure in September. September finally arrived... Dad and Nana were extremely nervous. They travelled down for this procedure that was to take place on Monday morning and she was to go home that night. Dad, Nana and Dora arrived at Sick Kids Hospital. If you have ever been there, you will agree with me what a wonderful place it is. It looks like a huge shopping mall that is all decorated with themes that kids love. But hopefully, you never have any need to go there.

The Doctor's sat down and talked to Dad and Nana about everything that was to take place. Dora would be prepped and anesthetized. They would go in through the femoral artery in her right groin to insert the stent. Once the procedure is done, she will have a few hours recovery and then she could go home or at least stay with the friends that lived in town. That was what was supposed to happen... Two hours, later the surgeon came out and broke the bad news to Dad and Nana. There is a 1 in 100,000 chance that during the procedure the stent can malfunction. Dora became chance 100,000. The surgeon did an excellent job in maneuvering the malfunctioned stent and essentially saved Dora's life but the stent was of no use now. The only option now was for the surgeon to perform open heart surgery on Dora to remove the stent and sew the hole up manually. Now, if you are like me... you think of "old people" having open heart surgery. But remember, Dora at this time was only 4 and a half.

If you know anything about Open Heart Surgery, it is exactly as it sounds. The surgeon had to cut through Dora's chest to get to her heart, where she removed the malfunctioned stent and sewed the hole in her heart. While in there, she had to insert a pace maker to help monitor her heart. The surgery took the maximum number of hours that the surgeon said it would so when that time was up, Nana and Dad were going crazy wondering what was going on. If you have ever been to a service center for your car, the more modern places have a monitor on the wall that tells you the status of your car and where in line you are. Sick Kids does the same thing. Nana and Dad watched this monitor for over 4 hours. Finally, the surgeon came out and he took them aside. Dora came through the surgery with flying colors. She is now resting in recovery and Dad could go see her.

It was a wonderful but pitiful sight. There was Dora. The kid we remember as smiling, giggling, running around getting into trouble now lying almost lifeless in a hospital bed, hooked up to a heart monitor. She had an IV in her arm, catheters coming out of both groins from the original procedure and wires coming out of her chest from the pace maker. This was hard to see. She had her 2 toys that she was allowed to have with her (Tasha and Uniqua from the Backyardigans) both with arm bands like Dora's.

Dad is not a religious man but I am betting that he said a few prayers that day and a few thank yous as well. Dora stayed in the hospital for the rest of the week, 3 more days at their friends in town and then had her follow-up appointment with the Cardiologist and the surgeon. Dora was recovering well. She was on multiple medications. Some for her heart and some for the fluid that was in her lungs from being on the heart and lung machine during the surgeries. Dora was able to go home after 8 days. It's amazing how fast some kids recover.

Dora is now over 5 years old and so far everything is going well. Except for the fact that about a month after she went back to school, she was running and fell and knocked here 2 front teeth back. This poor kid... what else can go wrong? The dentist was able to help her out.

As for the Mom, did she learn her lesson about smoking and drinking during pregnancy? Not so much... Dora's little brother Diego was also born premature. He was born after 29 weeks almost the same weight as Dora at birth. He was born with a brain bleed that required him to stay in the hospital for 3 months after his birth. He later developed Strabismus. This is a condition where your eyes are cross eyed. Diego was far sighted and had trouble seeing things up close. He over-compensated by crossing his eyes. He had to go for surgery at Sick Kids Hospital also. This surgery involved correcting the muscles around his eyes. He has to wear glasses for his eyesight and to help his eyes to heal. He was 3 when he had his surgery just a month before Dora's heart surgery.

When I visited the Mom in the hospital when Diego was born, she was sitting up on the bed cross-legged and feeling no pain. I couldn't believe my eyes. I told her, "Wow!! look at you sitting up already." Her response: "Yeah I am very lucky my babies are small". LUCKY!! I bit my tongue. You are not lucky when your babies are premature, not healthy and go on to have surgery after surgery. I have also heard nurses talk about delivering babies from smoking mothers where the placenta was like jelly, hence making it hard for the baby to breathe. Other babies are born with more life threatening conditions and are not as "lucky" as Dora and Diego.

If you know of someone who is pregnant and is still smoking or drinking, feel free to share my story with them. Maybe it will help them to quit, if not for themselves but maybe for their baby. It is no picnic going through all those issues when you are old, let alone when you are a newborn or a child.

The happy ending to this story is that as long as Dora and Diego continue to heal well from their surgeries and no other medical issues arise, they should be able to grow up and live normal lives. They are the "lucky" ones.

Overcoming Adversity

We hear a lot of amazing stories about people who are missing a limb overcoming their challenges and still living their life to the fullest. I've seen stories of men with artificial legs running marathons and a woman with no legs driving a car. There are many stories of these people not letting their disability get in the way of living. I have a similar story. I have a tale of a man with only one arm who was a hero to many kids.

My grandpa Leonard was born in 1899. When he was 10 years old, he was tending to his chores near their horse and buggy. Suddenly something spooked the horses, Leonard was knocked over and his arm got tangled in the spokes of the buggy. The consequences of this incident were devastating. Leonard lost his arm. I don't know if in 1909 there was a such thing as a prosthetic arm but even so, Leonard's family was poor so it probably would not have been an option. Since Leonard grew up on a farm, he had to overcome his loss and figure out how to perform his share of the chores.

Well, since Leonard was born so long ago, I don't know a lot more than that about his childhood other than... I heard that when he lost his arm, his mother got angry with him for spooking the horses. Hopefully there is more to that story or I might think my great-grandmother was cruel.

What do I remember? Well what I do know is that Leonard was married to a lovely lady named Marjorie and they raised 11 children. Big families were common back then especially in rural areas. Leonard ran a small farm and had various jobs in town. Leonard also became a skilled carpenter and a wonderful grandfather.

So why do I consider him a hero? When I go back home and run into people in his old hometown, they share tales of Leonard making small rowboats as a hobby. He also made sleds so that all the kids in town could enjoy sliding in the winter. Not to mention, I have memories of my grandpa shuffling cards with his left hand and his right stump. Also, he used to bounce us grandkids on his knee. My Grandfather died when I was only seven but I am still grateful for the memories I still have. Here he is in his workshop.

Grandpa Leonard

Greatest TRUE Love Story I Know Part 3 (Finale)

Bill's personality started to get worse and he started to regress to memories of when he was a kid. One day, Herbena came home with her granddaughter and relieved her friend who was looking after him. The errand had taken longer than expected and it was Bill's usual dinner time. Also, there was a problem with the heating in the apartment building. All of these factors were affecting his mood.

While the granddaughter was in the next room, Herbena took Bill into the kitchen and was rushing to make him some dinner. In her rush to get his dinner on the table, his tea cup tipped and almost spilled. Bill started yelling at Herbena and calling her rude names. Their granddaughter could not believe her ears. Was this the same calm, sweet grandfather she had always known. The same grandfather that always called her "Sweetie Pie". She immediately stood up and walked into the kitchen and told him to stop yelling at Herbena. He was shocked because he had forgotten that the granddaughter was there. Herbena didn't even flinch, just stood there and took it. The granddaughter asked Herbena if he yelled at her like that often. Herbena said "All the time."

That summer, Herbena went away on a trip with 1 daughter, granddaughter, 1 son and daughter-in-law to a family reunion. She wasn't going to go, but her kids convinced her to temporarily put Bill in a home during the trip. She felt so guilty but could not deny that she had a great time on the trip. It was the first break she had in a long time. When she came back, she decided to look into a permanent placement for Bill.

Shortly after, Bill was in a home permanently. Herbena visited him daily for many hours. Family members visited him often in the home. Bill seemed to be doing well there. The staff was so good to him. Everyone just played along with whatever era he thought he was in. Some of these eras included times when he was a teen and playing in a band or times when his kids where young. He often referred to his granddaughter as his daughter. She didn't mind. She just played along.

The following Christmas, the family decided to bring Bill home for Christmas dinner. Nobody wanted to leave him out of the festivities. However, from the time he arrived at the apartment, he was confused about everything. His routine was interrupted. He yelled at his son. He complained about everything. Everyone tried to put on a happy face but in the end, Herbena was saddened by the whole event. When the kids brought him back to the home, he was a completely different personality and settled right back into his routine. Clearly, the home was the best place for him.

With Christmas behind her, Herbena tried to settle back into her new life but then illness hit her. She was in and out of the hospital. Finally, she went from one daughter's house to the other. Her other 2 kids lived out of town but stayed close to the phone and talked to her often. Then one day, her health got even worse and was rushed to the hospital. The doctor's stabilized her. But a few days later, her two daughters, both nurses knew that she would not be around for much longer. Nobody at any time told Bill what was going on. They didn't want him to be sad if he even remembered her. Also, they knew that he would not remember later anyways.

Finally on January 26, Herbena lost her battle with life. The kids and grandkids all came home. After the funeral, everyone took their shifts at the home visiting Bill. Still nobody told him anything about their loss. YET Bill kept saying things like "Well she's up there now doing her duty". When asked about it, he got confused.

Everyone went on with their lives trying to adjust to life without Herbena. Regular monthly calls to each other turned into weekly calls just to talk. Everyone, once again, banded together to support each other through their grief. Then it happened...

22 days after the loss of Herbena... Bill usually calm, living in other eras of his life, started to have a fit in the dining room at the home. Refusing to settle into his usual routine, he kept telling the nurse "I WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN AND BE WITH HERBENA". The nurses managed to calm him but during his dinner, he slumped over his plate and had a stroke. His kids rushed to the home and sat by his bedside. They held his hand and just kept telling him, "It's okay Dad, go to Mom, we will be okay." He died that night.

All the kids were shocked by the fact that Bill knew somehow that Herbena had died. Even if he was told by a nurse or someone else, how did he remember her and how did he manage to control the timing of his death. The kids all commented on how it seemed like he waited for her to go ahead of him and prepare a place for him in Heaven; looking after him in Heaven just like she did in life. In his grief, the eldest son joked that they were now orphans. Herbena was in her 82nd year and Bill was in his 85th year. They would have been married 63 years.

Nana and Papa... I'm sorry if I messed up some of the details of your life. Some of these events happened before I was born and some when I was really young. I only have 2 regrets about my relationship with you: 1 - I didn't come home the night before you died to say goodbye; and 2 - you never got to meet my wonderful husband and 2 beautiful daughters. Even though it has been 9 years since you are gone, I still miss you both very much. I love you.

Bill and Herbena

Greatest TRUE Love Story I Know Part 2

Life went on, they had their laughs and they had their cries. Herbena started to have quite a few health problems over the years, they ranged from heart attacks that led to open heart surgery (probably caused by her diabetes) to breast cancer. Through it all she came out with flying colors. Bill supported by his kids, endured it all and every time held his wife in his arms and prayed for the best. Bill had a few problems as well, not quite as life threatening but he did suffer pneumonia a few times that also affected his kidneys. Not to mention his hearing was going and Bill had to wear a hearing aid.

One day after Bill retired, Herbena received a sympathy card. You'd think that this would be a sad occasion, but Herbena couldn't help but laugh because the card said "We are sorry for the loss of your husband". Yes this was funny because Bill was standing beside her and also read the card and had a good laugh. But they then had to have the serious conversation with the party that sent it and explained that they had the wrong Bill and that he was alive and well.

When Bill turned 70, he was reminded by the fact that his Dad had died at 70 and something changed in him that year. He started to forget things, his personality started to change. Bill was always a quiet and gentle man. Herbena started to notice these subtle differences and shared them with her kids. Everyone, at first, just thought that he was getting older. One day when he was out for a drive with his eldest son, Bill decided to tell his son about his problem. "Sometimes I forget things so if you think that I am going to turn or drive in the wrong direction, please tell me." A few minutes later, he missed their turn and his son told him about it. Bill yelled: "Don't tell me how to drive!!". Other family members started to notice that Bill was repeating himself a lot and forgetting things. Bill was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Herbena was devastated. Where was her husband, her partner and best friend? Now all she had was this man living with her that didn't always know her.

For the longest time, Herbena insisted that she could look after him at home. She was managing things fine for a while. At least that is how Herbena let everyone believe. She married him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. This was her job to look after him. So Herbena decided that she needed to step up her responsibilities. Herbena, now 77 years old, had never had her driver's license. A few times throughout her life, Bill had tried to teach her but without success. They had finally just resigned to the fact that he would do all the driving. Well Bill was now 80 and had to redo his driving test. Of course, being diagnosed with Alzheimer's he was unable to pass. Everyone else started driving them around. His granddaughter found it easier to tell him a little lie that she was still learning to drive and she needed to practice. She felt bad for lying but it was easier than seeing his reaction and questions as to why he could not drive. So instead, she would just smile through it when he would give her instructions and ask her what to do at a stop sign.

Finally, Herbena decided she needed to get her license after all because she didn't want to rely on others to do all her errands or to drive her everywhere. She just wanted to be able to go to the bank, grocery store, church and hair dresser. So she picked up the phone and called the driving school. She had the best teacher. He would take her out for an hour each time and only charge her a few times. After 2 tries, she got her license. Of course, everyone helped her out with extra practice sessions. She was so proud of herself especially after there was an article in the paper about her.

Herbena continued to survive a life looking after Bill and his Alzheimer's. Everyone kept telling her that she needed to give herself a break and look into a home for him. She kept denying that she could not look after him. One day, she had to step out to run a quick errand and when she came home, Bill was gone. She immediately called her kids. Her grandson who was a policeman, called in a favour at work to try to get some help to start looking for him. After a few hours, Bill wandered home. He was confused why everyone was over and so happy to see him. He didn't seem to know everyone YET he looked right at his grandson who was in plain clothes and said, "What did you call the cops for?" After that, Herbena had the locks changed so that you needed a key on both sides of the door and she had a friends stay with Bill whenever she had to go out.

Please come back tomorrow for the finale of this story…

Greatest TRUE Love Story I Know Part 1

Okay I don't dwell on spiritual thoughts. I have my beliefs but don't always put a lot of thought or discussion into them. However, this story shows how even a "normal" marriage can show true love even beyond death. And in the spirit of motherhood and children, let's start the story off like this...

Once upon a time in a land far up in Northern Ontario, there lived a couple named Herbena and Bill. Yes I said "Herbena" and Bill. Blessed with being named after her Dad, she still had the charm and beauty to attract young Bill. No this story does not involve a princess or a prince or any monsters or witches... just a beautiful couple that had their ups and downs through life.

Herbena and Bill met in their late teens and were married in their early twenties. Their first challenge involved convincing their very religious parents why they should be married. You see, Herbena was Protestant United and Bill was Roman Catholic. Little did they know that this was the first of many challenges that would be laid in their path.

Bill and Herbena were happily married and had 6 children (3 boys and 3 girls). Bill's occupation as a nickel miner was quite a strenuous and dangerous job. Herbena was mainly a stay at home mom but when money was tight, she took some odd jobs, like washing hair at one of the local hair salons. Life was quite satisfying.

Shortly after their 5th child, Cathy, was born, illness struck. Doctor appointment after doctor appointment and the fact that this was the early 50's didn't help much in her recovery. Sadly, three months after her birth, Cathy didn't survive. Bill and Herbena were devastated. Thank God for their 4 children. Their 2 sons and 2 daughters occupied their time and brought their spirits up. This tragedy only seemed to make them stronger as a family. In fact, a few years later, Bill and Herbena had another child, a son. Of course, this baby would never replace Cathy, but they still had so much more love to share.

Now as I mentioned, Bill was a miner in a small town. One day, what started out as a typical day, Bill was doing his job underground. Little did he know that there was some kind of incident at the other end of the drift (tunnel). When suddenly, he and his partner were trapped in their area and the area started to fill up with water. They kept trying to radio for help but their rescuers had their own struggles getting to them. Bill started to pray and think about his wife and 5 children. Just as the water reached to his chest, a hatch suddenly opened over their heads and down came a ladder from their long awaited rescuers. Herbena in tears that evening took her husband in her arms and thanked God.

So life went on and the kids grew up to have their own kids. Bill and Herbena could not have been more proud. Their eldest son became a United Church minister, their next son became a Policeman, both daughters became registered nurses and their youngest son became a Chemist. What a brood!! All educated, successful, professional, beautiful people. All of these kids became wonderful caring individuals. Bill and Herbena did a great job!! Just when life seemed to be going so well again, they got the phone call that no parent ever wants.

Their son the policeman, Murray, was on a fishing trip with his wife and they had problems with their motor. When Murray stood up to work on the motor, it backfired and knocked the wind out of him. Wearing no lifejacket and heavy work boots, he fell backwards into the water. His wife tried to help him but he kept yelling at her to sit down. He sank to the bottom. His wife managed to make it back to shore safely. Police dragged the lake looking for Murray. They searched for days and days. The family all gathered at Murray's house to support his wife and kids. On the 10th day, they got the call that they had been dreading. His body was found. Murray was such a well respected man, husband, policeman, mentor to young kids, photographer and friend to all. At the funeral, there were friends, friends of friends, family, family of family. Nobody wanted to say goodbye. Once again the family banded together to get through yet another tragedy. All Bill kept saying was "A son is not supposed to go before his parents." This tragedy left a scar on Bill's heart forever that he would never get over. Herbena being the strong one, gave Bill the strength to go on and see how much the rest of his family still needed him.

Please come back tomorrow for the continuation of this story...

Create Your Own Vocabulary

Do you ever notice that when you have kids you invent new words or rename common foods to something that your kids will understand? It's funny because even after my daughter learned the correct words, we still defer back to the funny sayings. Here are some funny sayings that we have made up. See if you can guess what the real words are. The answers are at the bottom.

1. Cheesy Pasta
2. Shaky Cheese
3. Fishy Crackers
4. Uppy
5. Drinky
   

Some of these were probably easy to guess where others were probably created from our warped imagination. Hopefully, our kids will remember the real terminology before they go to school otherwise they will have no clue when other kids are talking. Answers:

1. Kraft Dinner
2. Parmesan Cheese
3. Goldfish Crackers
4. Up
5. Thirsty
   

Feel free to share some of the strange words that your family has made up for easy conversation at your house.

The Power of Homemade

What is it about a homemade gift that makes it so special? Over the years, I have received some homemade items such as cards that were hand-drawn, knitted baby blankets and quilts. Friends and families have also shared some of their talents with me. For example, my brother sang at our wedding, my friend played the piano at our wedding, and my cousin hand-painted many gifts for me and a lot of the accessories for our wedding. I have treasured all of those things knowing how much love, time and effort had gone into those items. Perhaps I appreciate those types of gifts because I myself have recently given some homemade items as gifts. My daughter went to a birthday party in January for another 4 year old girl. The mother is also my daycare lady and always raved about the sweater that I had crocheted for my daughter a long time ago. So it hit me... That's what we will give her little girl for her birthday. Not only did I save money but I also avoided the risk of getting her the same gift as someone else. And not to mention... another excuse to crochet something. When the little girl opened her gift, I got the reaction I was hoping for from her mom. It felt great knowing that I gave them something they appreciated. Well I actually got more of a crowd reaction than I thought. A few other moms started commenting and complimenting me on the sweater and even joking that they were going to submit their orders before I left. I don't like being the center of attention, I just wanted to give her something that was useful. A month later... another birthday party... What the heck!! Let's try the same gift only in a different colour. I guess I am addicted to that feeling I get when someone really likes something that I actually made. I don't have a lot of talents but the few I have I try to use them when I can. My family is very talented and I didn't inherit any except for the crocheting from my grandmother. The ironic part is when she got older, she didn't remember that she had taught me. Oh the reaction at party #2, you ask... the mom almost leaped into the bag as she was saying to her daughter... "Oh this is more for mommy." I felt great seeing that reaction knowing that my many hours of work were well appreciated. Try sharing your talents with others instead of expensive gifts and see how you are appreciated.

Who Appreciates Your Efforts The Most?

Being off on my maternity leave, I have a few chores that I have taken on to try to maintain a neat and tidy home while my husband works. I get up in the morning, feed the baby, make the beds for both girls, feed them breakfast, ensure the kitchen is clean and sweep/vacuum the floors. My husband is appreciative and also helps out a great deal. But do you ever wonder who appreciates your efforts the most? My eldest daughter's room is on the front of the house and gets all the afternoon sun. She, of course at the age of 4, could care less but I know someone will take advantage of the tidy room. When these 2 get there you'd never know that I made the bed. Check out my appreciative other "kids".

Who Was Your Barbie Stepping Out With?

This morning I was watching a show that was talking about the 50th anniversary of Barbie. The host and her guest started having a side conversation about who their Barbie was dating when they didn't have a Ken doll. The guest mentioned that her Barbie was dating Huckleberry Pie from her Strawberry Shortcake collection. It was cute and then I remembered I was just as bad as a kid.

My brother and I had a play room and played a lot together. But we had to be fair to each other. So when we played with his hot wheels, we took turns picking our cars and then played for hours making roads on the carpet; incorporating our Lego to make towns, etc. So when it was my turn, I, of course, wanted to play Barbies. Since I didn't have any sisters, my brother was all I had. So... He loved playing Barbies with me on 1 condition... His GI Joe figures had to be introduced. Of course... what man doesn't want to get together with Barbie even GI Joe. I didn't care, he was agreeing to play Barbies with me. Yes GI Joe was a little short but Barbie didn't have a lot to choose from, all she had was Ken. My brother and I played for hours and a few times, Barbie got happily married to Sergeant Slaughter. Okay now I am all grown up and I have 2 beautiful daughters so I don't see any reunions between Barbie and Sergeant Slaughter or any other GI Joe character but you never know who Barbie will step out with in our house. Who did your Barbie date? Feel free to share.

That song in my head!!

You know that annoying feeling when you get your favourite song in your head? It plays the same line(s) over and over again until you eventually start to almost hate your favourite song. Well that is nothing compared to getting songs from your kids' movies in your head. Yesterday, my daughter watched "Barbie and the Diamond Castle" for the 783rd time. Yes I counted. My daughter loves to sing along with the movie and even insists that I leave the movie on during the credits so she can put on her dress-up clothes and dance and sing. Very cute but with serious side effects... "Three Voices... One Song.... Connected... Connected..." Can't... get... this... song... out... of... my head....

Family Coloring Contest

My 4 year old loves to color and her coloring is finally getting better, she actually makes an effort now to stay in the lines. The other night my husband sat down and colored his own picture while she colored one, rather than working on the same picture. When he was all done, he proudly displayed his on the fridge for all to see. No not her picture!! HIS!! Hers became a paper airplane a few hours later. So a few nights later, when Dad was working night shift, I decided to sit down and color my own picture while she colored hers. Of course, I had to juggle the coloring with making dinner and keeping the baby happy. But I am not making excuses. When I was coloring, my daughter kept saying "Can I help you with yours?" Out loud, I responded with "it's okay but you color yours". In my head I was saying "NO!!!! HANDS OFF! I have to color mine nicer than Dad!". In the end, I posted both my daughters and mine on the fridge at the same height. When my husband came home, all he said was "I assume she didn't color these by herself". Hmmfff!! I told him I was trying to show-up his. And between you and me... mine wins.... LOL

The Quest For Daycare

Why is the search for daycare so painful? When my eldest was born, I put her name on a waiting list at a few different daycare centers, my preference being that she go to the daycare attached to my church. Of course, that's not the one that called and time was running out before my husband had to go back to work. Yes I split my parental leave with him. I took the first 7 months and he was thrilled to have the next 4 months off of work.

Okay so "beggars can't be choosers" right? I also figured that once my preferred daycare called we could switch her over. In the meantime, we were covered and it was close to the train station so I could get to work. OMG!! From what I hear, our experience at this daycare was pretty typical but it drove me crazy. She came home with cold after cold. I saw other parent's dropping their kids off with bags full of medicine, it was no wonder she caught colds. And then one day, I get a call from the daycare... Your daughter has discharge coming out of her ear and you have to come pick her up. This was about 2:30 pm. Concerned of course, I agreed to come get her and told them I would be there by 4pm. The daycare lady started arguing with me. Our policy states that you have to pick up your child within an hour of us calling you. I tried to explain to her that I worked downtown and I had to wait until the next bus because there are no trains during the day. She kept arguing with me. I told her I would get there as soon as I could. 3:50 pm I walked through the doors of the daycare, having taken the next bus and drove from the train station as fast as I could. The lady then, trying to be nice, says, Oh I thought you said after 4pm. WHATEVER!!

Then I saw my poor daughter. They had quarantined her off in a corner and they were off playing with other kids. My daughter just over a year old at the time. So this experience made me very skeptical about daycares. I understand that they were trying to keep the other kids healthy but what about all those other kids coming with bags full of medicine.

Then our luck changed... My husband spotted a flyer on the mailboxes near our house. A lady with an ECE certificate was opening a daycare in her home... 10 houses away from our house. Sweet! Now I know what you're thinking!!! We don't even know this lady and now we are thinking of leaving our child with her. Well, we had those concerns too but decided to take a chance and gave her a call. She invited us over for an interview where we met her, her husband, her mother-in-law and her daughter who was less than a month older than our daughter. It was the nicest visit we ever had with anyone and she was able to answer all of our questions and concerns.

So we left that night and discussed it thoroughly with each other. We decided to take a chance. 3 years later... it was the best risk we ever took. I can only remember this lady calling us once and it was just to tell us that our daughter had a fever and she was going to give her some Tylenol. WHAT!!! You mean I don't have to rush there and pick her up!! Now their daughter and our daughter are the best of friends. The daycare lady and her husband have become very good friends of ours. In fact both her parents and his mom are our friends as well. I have also since become a reference for her.

Now daughter #2... We actually thought about getting daughter #2 into a regular daycare because we now live in a different town and our favorite daycare lady lives 15 minutes away WITH NO TRAFFIC. We were thinking about trying to find someone local. WHAT WERE WE THINKING!!

Finally, my husband and I decided that we would rather drive in traffic back to our old town and get the same quality of care. We see flyers for home daycare around our town but we are not sure that we would get that lucky twice. So this past week we confirmed both our daughters with this wonderful lady and her family.

Do I Look Pretty Mommy?

Today my daughter got her yearly haircut. This time we decided to go a lot shorter, from hair half-way down her back, to shoulder length and the introduction of bangs! She looks adorable!! And she couldn't stop smiling at her new do while the stylist was blow-drying her hair. All afternoon she kept checking herself out in the mirror, then asking me: "Mommy does my haircut make me look pretty?" I told her that she was pretty before and still is. So this went on all afternoon. I should have known what was to follow... This evening, she had her weekly Taekwondo class. I had already been thinking about increasing her membership to twice a week instead of weekly. My daughter is very shy and is still adjusting to the sport. My husband calls her a "wallflower"; I call her "girly". We chose to put her into Taekwondo because we wanted to increase her self-confidence... essentially we want her to stop whining every time another kid bugs her. Today was probably not the day to get her a new hairdo. I watched her throughout her class this evening, she kept feeling her hair every chance she got, thus distracting herself. Oh well! she might not have been the most focused student in the class this week but she was definitely the cutest with her new haircut. On a good note, she fell 4 times while running in the class and didn't cry once. This is quite the achievement so I was proud.

And the Scary Parent of the Year Award Goes To...

Planning my daughter's birthday party is always a lot of fun. Picking out her theme, buying decorations to match, ordering the cake. This year my daughter wanted Tinkerbell. Sweet!! All the other kids always do Dora or Princesses, this year we get to be different. Oh the party was great!! So what's the problem? The final part of the party is where the kids get to take home the loot bag. A package of surprises and souvenirs of the party.

When I was filling the bags, I put a lot of thought into what the contents should be. I need to purchase something that the kids will think is okay and the parents won't hate me for buying some kind of junky toy. The last party, my daughter received a "My little Pony" and a kid's make-up kit. My daughter thought it was cool. I knew I couldn't top that so I decided to go with sensible. SO I THOUGHT!!!

I filled the loot bags with some cute little stickers, sunglasses, and the sensible part... an age-appropriate book. Great the parents are going to love me!! After the party, it was finally time for bed so I said good night to my daughter and my husband took her up to read a story. She, of course, also received a loot bag, so Dad thought it was a great time to test drive the new book.

Half an hour later, Dad came downstairs with a strange look on his face and the comment... "Dude!! that is not a nice book!!" Apparently, the story they picked to read in the new book was a story about monsters and a dog getting his legs, tail and head cut off. My husband wisely substituted the words "patted the dog's head, leg, tail, etc". The story eventually had a happy ending but not without some gory details.

The book was called "Stories for 4 Year olds", so HOW was I supposed to know? AND... I bought them at a toy store. So I went from sensible parent/party host to creepy mom winning the "Scary Parent of the year award. The good thing is I only bought 3 of those books and an assortment of other books. Since my daughter got one of them, that means only 2 sets of parents out there are now afraid of me. That is assuming of course, that the other assortment of books I distributed out there were a little more friendly. At least the parents will have the memory of the pinata... oh wait that didn't go so well either...

Happy Birthday Girlie Girl!!

Today is my eldest daughter's birthday. She turned 4 at 2:59 am. I will never forget the journey to the day she was born. She was due on February 15th. My parents came down from Northern Ontario on February 1st to help us out. They had booked a trip to Portugal over a year ago and their flight was scheduled for the 17th. Every day we waited and waited but she just wasn't ready to come. The longer I waited the more irritable I got. I just want her out now! Enough of this pregnancy business. I went for my weekly doctor's appointments when finally the doctor said "I think you are going to have a big baby, we should send you for an ultrasound." Having an ultrasound at 39 weeks is brutal. Lying on the table just made me nauseous. I had to get the technician to stop a few times so I could sit up and regain my senses. And then the wait... my next appointment was a week later, the day after my parents were flying out. Figures! My mom was supposed to be a coach along side of my husband. My dad was supposed to look after the dog. February 18th... visit to the doctor... "surprise surprise you are having a big baby. We are going to induce you... How does tomorrow sound?" Sounds great! February 19th...

• 7:30 am... admitted to the hospital;

• 9:00 am... water broke;

• 11:00 am... contractions induced and now another long wait. The amusing part was when the doctor said "There is a 50/50 chance that you may need a C-section" THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING TO PUT ME THROUGH THIS??

The birthing room we were in had a TV, so my husband got to watch all the American Chopper he wanted. The good thing is, I bet he can't remember what choppers were built that day. Goes to show he paid some attention to me. Ha just kidding. This was after I had the epidural and I was in and out of sleep. The nurse and my husband had a great chat about me - they thought I was sleeping but I was more resting and listening to all the nice things being said about me :) February 20th midnight... Finally pushing time.... pushing.... pushing... more pushing... is it really supposed to take this long... I don't know if I can do this... am I strong enough? Finally 2:59 am, "here comes the baby... CALL THE PEDIATRIC UNIT" What's going on? This is the point where they are supposed to say "Congratulations it's a boy... girl..." which is it? Then my husband is supposed to cut the umbilical cord. Wait the nurse is saying something "CANCEL THAT CALL - WE'RE OKAY NOW" Then I hear my husband's voice "Hey we have a daughter! She's beautiful." Oh thank goodness. I am so happy but what happened? Apparently, she wasn't breathing at first and her left arm wasn't moving. She started breathing shortly on her own and by morning her arm was fine when examined by a Pediatrician. She was a whopping 9 lbs. 1 oz. and 19 inches long. I will never forget the day that she was born. Despite the fact that she and I have a minor disagreements as she gets through her terrible 2's, I just think back to that day and realize how lucky I am. Yesterday, I was going through some old photos and videos and saw all the cute moments we captured. One of these moments included her addiction to dancing at the age of 2 especially to Nelly Furtado and Rihanna. I hope as both my daughters grow into beautiful young women, they remain my best friends just like my mom and I. Happy Birthday Girlie Girl!! I love you!!

Homesick For My Family

Last week, I got the sad news that my uncle had passed away. This obviously prompted a trip back home. Any trip back home always generates feelings of homesickness. 11 years ago, I chose to move to Southern Ontario, 6 hours away from my family. This was a great move for my career because there are not a lot of jobs in Northern Ontario. I don't regret this move at all because if I had not moved, I would never have met my husband and hence had 2 beautiful daughters. However, whenever I visit my family, I get sad that I live so far away. This feeling is even stronger when there is a death in the family. I keep thinking if only we lived closer then I wouldn't feel so disconnected from my family. I deal with this by trying not to miss any family events. I even drive the 6 hours alone with the 2 girls. I recently did this for my niece's birthday when my baby was only a month and half old. This of course turned my 6 hour journey into about 9 hours, having to stop frequently. This was worth it knowing that I didn't miss her birthday. My brother was appreciative of me making that trip. This past weekend when we drove north for my Uncle's funeral, we managed to get there in time for the viewing, stay overnight for the funeral BUT we had to leave early to get back home at a decent hour. I am afraid that one day when my parents are gone, I will regret not being home more. What to do... it seems obvious... Look for a job near my family... However, here are the catches:

• My parents spend their winters in a warmer climate so they wouldn't be home for 5 months of the year anyway.

• My husband's parents live close to us now. They wouldn't be very happy if we moved.

• Given the state of the economy now, there is a slim chance that my husband and I would find jobs.

How to deal... My husband and I keep weighing the factors and someday, hopefully, the solution will become clear. In the meantime, we continue to make the long trek to make sure we get to spend as much time with both of our families.

Mat Leave Was Easier the First Time Around

Wow!! I don't remember my first maternity leave being this much work. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I am just finally admitting that everyone who warned me was right. Having 2 children is a lot more work. I am now on my maternity leave with 2 daughters. My eldest is 4 years old and my youngest is 4 months old. I remember my first maternity leave consisting of feeding the baby and changing the baby. I remember my daughter sleeping a lot and during that time, I was able to take her shopping, take her visiting and crocheting A LOT. I had enough time to crochet sweaters, stuffed animals and lots of baby clothes. That was with one child...

Two girls... Now everything takes so much longer. Getting ready to go anywhere takes at least 30 minutes to an hour longer. My oldest daughter required some time to adjust to no longer being #1. Whenever I am feeding the baby, she needs to be near if not on my lap at the same time. Now when the baby is sleeping, time is spent with my eldest teaching her to learn her numbers and letters, playing games or doing crafts. What happened to the crocheting and ME time? Well thanks to my husband, I do get time for me in the evening or on his days off.

Now on the bright side, I love my 2 girls. Being 4 years apart, my eldest is a big help. If I need a clean sleeper or a receiving blanket, she is more than happy to run upstairs and get it for me. She wants to help out with everything. This requires some patience on my part. There are just some things a 4-year old can't do. With a learning curve on my part, I have learned to negotiate and provide options to my daughter and that lets her believe that she is in charge and feels like she is still helping me. The best part about having the 2 of them at home gives me a second chance to spend time with my eldest whereas before she was 5 days a week in daycare.

When we chose to have 2 children, one of the first things I thought was: "Great!! Now I can do everything better the second time around!" Sometimes this is true but not always. Having one child does not prepare you for everything. Sometimes, I can't believe how 2 girls can be so different or did I just forget some of the things I learned the first time. For instance, I remember my eldest being a quiet baby and dealing with teething like a champ. Well, my youngest has her one-hour a night, where sometimes nothing makes her happy. Thank goodness that one-hour is at 8pm and not 2am.

Watching all the cute little things that the baby does, makes me sad at how much I have forgotten about when my eldest was a baby. This has prompted me to start blogging and perhaps capture the cute and memorable moments of both of their lives.