Life went on, they had their laughs and they had their cries. Herbena started to have quite a few health problems over the years, they ranged from heart attacks that led to open heart surgery (probably caused by her diabetes) to breast cancer. Through it all she came out with flying colors. Bill supported by his kids, endured it all and every time held his wife in his arms and prayed for the best. Bill had a few problems as well, not quite as life threatening but he did suffer pneumonia a few times that also affected his kidneys. Not to mention his hearing was going and Bill had to wear a hearing aid.
One day after Bill retired, Herbena received a sympathy card. You'd think that this would be a sad occasion, but Herbena couldn't help but laugh because the card said "We are sorry for the loss of your husband". Yes this was funny because Bill was standing beside her and also read the card and had a good laugh. But they then had to have the serious conversation with the party that sent it and explained that they had the wrong Bill and that he was alive and well.
When Bill turned 70, he was reminded by the fact that his Dad had died at 70 and something changed in him that year. He started to forget things, his personality started to change. Bill was always a quiet and gentle man. Herbena started to notice these subtle differences and shared them with her kids. Everyone, at first, just thought that he was getting older. One day when he was out for a drive with his eldest son, Bill decided to tell his son about his problem. "Sometimes I forget things so if you think that I am going to turn or drive in the wrong direction, please tell me." A few minutes later, he missed their turn and his son told him about it. Bill yelled: "Don't tell me how to drive!!". Other family members started to notice that Bill was repeating himself a lot and forgetting things. Bill was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Herbena was devastated. Where was her husband, her partner and best friend? Now all she had was this man living with her that didn't always know her.
For the longest time, Herbena insisted that she could look after him at home. She was managing things fine for a while. At least that is how Herbena let everyone believe. She married him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. This was her job to look after him. So Herbena decided that she needed to step up her responsibilities. Herbena, now 77 years old, had never had her driver's license. A few times throughout her life, Bill had tried to teach her but without success. They had finally just resigned to the fact that he would do all the driving. Well Bill was now 80 and had to redo his driving test. Of course, being diagnosed with Alzheimer's he was unable to pass. Everyone else started driving them around. His granddaughter found it easier to tell him a little lie that she was still learning to drive and she needed to practice. She felt bad for lying but it was easier than seeing his reaction and questions as to why he could not drive. So instead, she would just smile through it when he would give her instructions and ask her what to do at a stop sign.
Finally, Herbena decided she needed to get her license after all because she didn't want to rely on others to do all her errands or to drive her everywhere. She just wanted to be able to go to the bank, grocery store, church and hair dresser. So she picked up the phone and called the driving school. She had the best teacher. He would take her out for an hour each time and only charge her a few times. After 2 tries, she got her license. Of course, everyone helped her out with extra practice sessions. She was so proud of herself especially after there was an article in the paper about her.
Herbena continued to survive a life looking after Bill and his Alzheimer's. Everyone kept telling her that she needed to give herself a break and look into a home for him. She kept denying that she could not look after him. One day, she had to step out to run a quick errand and when she came home, Bill was gone. She immediately called her kids. Her grandson who was a policeman, called in a favour at work to try to get some help to start looking for him. After a few hours, Bill wandered home. He was confused why everyone was over and so happy to see him. He didn't seem to know everyone YET he looked right at his grandson who was in plain clothes and said, "What did you call the cops for?" After that, Herbena had the locks changed so that you needed a key on both sides of the door and she had a friends stay with Bill whenever she had to go out.
Please come back tomorrow for the finale of this story…
One day after Bill retired, Herbena received a sympathy card. You'd think that this would be a sad occasion, but Herbena couldn't help but laugh because the card said "We are sorry for the loss of your husband". Yes this was funny because Bill was standing beside her and also read the card and had a good laugh. But they then had to have the serious conversation with the party that sent it and explained that they had the wrong Bill and that he was alive and well.
When Bill turned 70, he was reminded by the fact that his Dad had died at 70 and something changed in him that year. He started to forget things, his personality started to change. Bill was always a quiet and gentle man. Herbena started to notice these subtle differences and shared them with her kids. Everyone, at first, just thought that he was getting older. One day when he was out for a drive with his eldest son, Bill decided to tell his son about his problem. "Sometimes I forget things so if you think that I am going to turn or drive in the wrong direction, please tell me." A few minutes later, he missed their turn and his son told him about it. Bill yelled: "Don't tell me how to drive!!". Other family members started to notice that Bill was repeating himself a lot and forgetting things. Bill was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Herbena was devastated. Where was her husband, her partner and best friend? Now all she had was this man living with her that didn't always know her.
For the longest time, Herbena insisted that she could look after him at home. She was managing things fine for a while. At least that is how Herbena let everyone believe. She married him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. This was her job to look after him. So Herbena decided that she needed to step up her responsibilities. Herbena, now 77 years old, had never had her driver's license. A few times throughout her life, Bill had tried to teach her but without success. They had finally just resigned to the fact that he would do all the driving. Well Bill was now 80 and had to redo his driving test. Of course, being diagnosed with Alzheimer's he was unable to pass. Everyone else started driving them around. His granddaughter found it easier to tell him a little lie that she was still learning to drive and she needed to practice. She felt bad for lying but it was easier than seeing his reaction and questions as to why he could not drive. So instead, she would just smile through it when he would give her instructions and ask her what to do at a stop sign.
Finally, Herbena decided she needed to get her license after all because she didn't want to rely on others to do all her errands or to drive her everywhere. She just wanted to be able to go to the bank, grocery store, church and hair dresser. So she picked up the phone and called the driving school. She had the best teacher. He would take her out for an hour each time and only charge her a few times. After 2 tries, she got her license. Of course, everyone helped her out with extra practice sessions. She was so proud of herself especially after there was an article in the paper about her.
Herbena continued to survive a life looking after Bill and his Alzheimer's. Everyone kept telling her that she needed to give herself a break and look into a home for him. She kept denying that she could not look after him. One day, she had to step out to run a quick errand and when she came home, Bill was gone. She immediately called her kids. Her grandson who was a policeman, called in a favour at work to try to get some help to start looking for him. After a few hours, Bill wandered home. He was confused why everyone was over and so happy to see him. He didn't seem to know everyone YET he looked right at his grandson who was in plain clothes and said, "What did you call the cops for?" After that, Herbena had the locks changed so that you needed a key on both sides of the door and she had a friends stay with Bill whenever she had to go out.
Please come back tomorrow for the finale of this story…
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